i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
