i need an iv and a liver transplant
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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