her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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