is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
