I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
