Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
