i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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