I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?