my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
