saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes