just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
