also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
