If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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