I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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