I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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