belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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