I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
