I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
