On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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