My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im holly from the hills drunk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
