apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
