how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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