I'm drive I can fine osifer
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
