My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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