i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
