There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
