fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
