She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
