therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
