just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
