I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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