I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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