I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
