Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
