yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
