I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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