it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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