we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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