So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
