Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize