My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
