I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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