i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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