so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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