Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
