Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
