New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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