My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
