i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
