Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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