Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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