there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
