Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize