Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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