you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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