So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
