Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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