OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize