sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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