Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
