How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
