Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
