you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
