go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
