Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
