cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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