We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
