last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
