It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
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Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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