I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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