i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.