I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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