I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
